5 years. no words.

ARE YOU AUTHENTIC???

Yesterday a friend and I were talking about blogs we follow. Some are cooking blogs, crafty blogs or cake decorating blogs. A few are about moms just like us who blog about daily life. One in particular where the blogger posts about how bright and happy and perfect their life is but in reality there is darkness and imperfection. So it got me thinking, am I willing to show myself, the pretty and the ugly? Am I willing to tell you secrets that I wish weren't true? The answer: sure, why not? What have I got to lose? I like to think myself a pretty honest person. Sometimes too honest. Brutally honest. I consider myself to be an open book. So here are some of my "secrets". Some are big and some are little, but they are all mine.

Sometimes (quite often, actually) I won't empty the dishwasher, but get the clean dishes out when I need them. Scandalous, I know.

I ran away from home when I was 15 to my friend Chico's house. I spent the night on his top bunk and I scootched all the way towards the wall so his mom wouldn't see me.

When I was 12 I shoplifted maxi-pads because I was too embarassed to tell my mom I had gotten my first period.

I have pretended not to hear the kids in the morning so Kris would wake up first :)

I plagarised a book report in highschool english class. I was comparing and contrasting Bram Stokers Dracula and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and literally copied the synopses word for word from the Cliffs Notes. I got a B.

I think my kids are rockstar awesome. (Ok this ones not really a secret, just looking at my son laying on his tummy looking at a board book, so I had to write this).

This is what my living room looked like yesterday.

I smoked pot in my freshman and sophmore years. Alot. And its pretty over-rated.

I wish I would have been a cheerleader in school.

I get aggravated when people take on the whole world and then complain that they have so much on their plate. News Flash, this just in.........we ALL have alot on our plates.

I am scared of dying. And really hope it happens when I am in my 90's.

I don't read my Bible everyday.

I have forgotten to pay the power bill before and our lights have been cut-off. (oops)

Right now my husband is singing a song about how I need to stop blogging and do more laundry and I might have to cut him.

My friend Cynthia keeps it real with me and is a huge support and encouragement to me. And I appreciate it.

Some days I think I am a good mom, but most days I feel completely inadequate.

I don't vacuum my house everyday.

I don't care about football.

My son is whining at my hip right now and I'm about to go postal.

What are you hiding?

Things that make me gag

Yesterday I was in walmart and saw 2, count em, 2 old ladies sans bras. GAG! While I am all for women empowerment must I be occularly assulted by these women who are either a. too lazy to take the extra 3 seconds to put on a bra or b. really think anyone in the free world would be even remotely interested to see their mammary glands flopping around town. Dear Old ladies, Pah-leez do society a favor and strap em back up!!!

So while I'm on the subject I thought I would make a small list of things that make me gag.

The guy who works the popeyes drive thru who has fingernails that would make barbra Streisand envious. Dude, if you are not a freelance hand model cut those things down!!!!!!!!!

Tyra Banks. Gag. She gets on my nerves times infinity.

False compliments. Theres a chick I know who, honestly we have nothing in common. But everytime we are together she feels the need to incessantly compliment me on my kids. Look, I already know my kids are rock stars. I don't need someone trying to get in my good graces to give me fake compliments.

Weirdos at the healthclub. Old ladies in the hottub with white bras on, the lady who runs, yes runs on the treadmill in flip flops, the guys who look like a giants on the top and 12 year olds on the bottom. Hello???? Have you ever heard of a calf raise????

The end.

Just thought of another one.......Flo from the Progressive commercial. Can she please get a gig on a daytime soap or something so she can quit making commercials and I never have to see/hear her again?

WE ARE FAMILY

I have a cousin named Becky (look Becky, you're on the internet). Her grandparents, Joyce and Orville were my moms Aunt and Uncle. I have many memories about them and literally was talking about Aunt Joyce last night with my friend, Tara. One of my bestest memories is when I was younger, Rachel (Becky's older sister) and I would spend the night at Aunt Joyce's (Grandma to Rachel). And Aunt Joyce would let us play for hours with her costume jewelry and clip on earings and her screw post earrings. Aunt Joyce made me feel pretty.

Anyhoo, Beckster (thats my new nickname for her, cuz we're so tight) is a Senior in high school. I don't think we have ever met but if we have it was when she was an embryo and I was about 11. She is gorgeous-can you please take a look at this pic!

Am I right or am I right. Anyways she likes my blog and thinks Im the hilarious. Naturally I think she is very intelligent and she is offically my new BFF. And I can't wait to meet her at Thanksgiving!

Simplify

For the past several weeks I have been participating in a Bible Study with some sweet friends. The book we've been reading is Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. Its brutal, to be honest. It has smacked me in the face the entire time. It has really challenged me to get honest with myself and find what it is that is getting in the way of time with God. For some it may be shopping, or eating, housework, or children. For me........it's TV. There I said it. All my dirty laundry laid out for all the world to see. Or atleast the 16 blog followers I have :) I AM ADDICTED TO TV!!!!!!!!!!! I can't help it. I love nothing more than to sit on the couch when the rest of the family has gone to bed and watch Real Housewives of Jersey Shore or the (Not-So) Real World. I have even found myself fussing at my daughter because it was more important for me to hear who was kicked off the island than it was to hear my best girl describe a picture she had drawn for me. So I am here to say no more. Honestly whats the worst that could happen? A few years ago Kris and I were die-hard LOST fanatics. Then something happened (I can't even remember what) and we missed several episodes in season 4 and never picked it back up. And (GASP) we survived! So this week I will be driving down Burnside to Cox and turning in our cable box. We will be going from roughly 300 channels to 23. I am hopeful that this "adventure" will help us be more creative as a family and more engaged as parents.
Another thing that spoke to me during the Bible Study has been "what are you willing to give up for God"? If God told Kris and I to move to Napal to tell people about him would we do it? Or would we try to hide and negotiate our way out of it? If he asked us to take up our cross would we say "Uh Yeah I would, but.....I have this purse full of junk to carry and I'm not really wearing the right shoes for a long walk". So in that spirit we are simplyfying our lives. We are purging our lives. We are bringing it down to bare bones. Sacrificing our comfort. I know thats silly to say that having a kitchen full of dishes or 2 hand mixers or 38 bottles of Bath and Body sprays is comforting me but it is. I mean really, do I need 3 different sets of cereal bowls? Or a linen closet full of bedding, We only have 2 beds in the house? Or what seems like a bajillion bath towels? Do I need 14 pairs of flip-flops? What is this "stuff" giving me? What are we "gaining" from all this "stuff"?
The answer: NOTHING. And thats why its gotta go.

I NEVER

Have you ever played a game called "I Never...."? Its basically the easiest peasiest game in the world. Much easier than "Panda" (Look Katie, you're on the internet :) Basically someone says "I never...... fill in the blank. And you stand or raise your hand if you have in fact done what has been said. Example: I Never..............got a tattoo. I would stand up, since I have 4 (don't judge me). So here is a list of I Nevers..................................................
ps the following list might not be for the faint of heart. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I NEVER....................
skipped school
blew a duck call in 8th grade Social studies class.
held up a lighter at a pep rally and subsequently got suspended for it.
used a diaper to clean up spilled coke in a restaraunt.
picked up am entire pizza off the ground when Thomas pulled it off the counter, dusted it off and then never told Kris what happened.
went to summer school.
t.p'd a teachers house.
got into a fist fight.
flunked a class.
shoplifted.
had my tongue pierced. Twice.
called in sick when I really wasn't.
worked for hancock fabrics.
caused a 4 car wreck.
cheated on a test.
wished I had done things differently.
has a nose bleed in math class.
ran away from home.
called a teacher a cuss word.
smoked pot.
was a candy striper.
smoked behind the T building at St. Amant.
lost a good friendship.
fell in love with a rockstar (look Kris, you're on the internet:)
had 2 amazing children who have stolen my heart.

What have you never done?????

raves and rants

Here is my life this past week.
This past week my bestie, Amy was given the privilege of spending approximately 64 hours with me at a scrapbooking retreat. To the weak this could have seemed a daunting task, but to Amy it was a piece of cake. This lady has 4 kids and is the ULTIMATE household engineer. I knew the weekend would be a piece of cake for her.

I hadn't scrapbooked in ages (well actually 19 months) so I was a little nervous. But thankfully it didn't take me long to get my groove back. Here are a few pics of my favorite layouts:

Some things that I learned about Amy Michelle on this trip:

She LOVES her some nachos.

She hates dark hotel rooms.

She loathes spoons.

Wednesday Night we had home group at tha Moore's. Fun times with fun youth! I am so excited to be a part of this awesome group of kids and beyond excited about the plans Kevin has for them!!!

Thursday night I took my very best girl on a MUCH NEEDED Mommy and Daughter date. We went and saw Toy Story 3 (AKA TEAR FEST 2010). Seriously. Saddest movie. (Dear Dream works, or whoever produced this movie, can you throw me a bone and please not have movies about creepy lazy eyed dolls who are abused. The End) All my friends who have seen it are fired 76 times for not telling me just how emotional it was gonna be. She and I SOBBED almost the entire movie. Thankfully we had bags of popcorn to help stiffle our sobs. Then my girl and I went to La Madeleines and ate strawberry romanoff crepes and had a very special time. (Thank you, GOD for this precious gift).

Last night I had some very much needed catch up time with my long time friend, Jenny. So happy that we have been a part of each others lives for nearly 20 years. She is the one friend who has been through more life changing experiences with me than any other except for Kris!

Now I'm off to grocery shop and buy my best girl a littlest pet shop she has been begging me for for weeks!!!! Have a blessed weekend friends!