Heart part 2

heart

This is my third attempt at creating this blog post. It has changed each time I've tried to write it so here is draft number 3.
Today was a good day. Kris, Monkey, and I participated in the American Heart Walk in memory of my DAD. I have been thinking about and planning for this walk for a few weeks. I have cried everyday, sometimes multiple times, for a few weeks. When we signed up I thought it would be a nice thing to do and plus we could get some exercise in the process. But I had no idea how important the walk would become. Thanks to friends and family we were able to raise $350 for the American Heart Association in honor of my dad, Tommy Miner. The daily tears were something I was not prepared for. I think I was so emotional because for the past few weeks I have been thinking about my dad and talking about my dad every single day. I do think about him all the time but a wave of guilt floods over me when I realize a few days have gone past and I didn't think about him. Sometimes I feel like if I go 2 days without thinking about him then it means I have forgotten him or that I don't love him as strongly as I used too. When the simple fact is that I am very busy and God has given me alot on my plate and quite honestly my dad would think its pretty silly to feel guilty about this anyways. But in all honesty I miss my Dad. There I said it. Sometimes I feel weird saying it. Like if someone hears me they might think "Geez, Melissa. Its been 4 1/2 years. Time to move on". And for a long time I didn't say it out loud for fear someone would think this about me. Or if I did say it outloud it was only to a handful of people who I knew would not judge me or think I was pathetic. But today I stop that. I don't give a crap what anyone thinks or says about this. I MISS MY DAD. I miss him more than anyone will ever know. And I am no longer going to hide saying it, or feel embarrassed because I feel like that. My dad was amazing and loving and just totally rad. And I hate the fact that it took me so many years to admit that. I hate that I was an idiot teenager who was too cool for school and I treated him like crap. But I am thankful that it all changed when I was about 16. And I am happy that he NEVER gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. And I am very thankful for the amazing life he gave Dylan and I and for the amazing year he had with Lilly. And I am thankful knowing that when he died knew he was loved because I had told him he was. And I can also say I am sad. I am sad for the many years I won't have with him. I am sad because Thomas will never see his face or hear his voice. I am sad that Lilly doesn't remember him very well. But I have the peace in knowing we WILL be with him again and thats what I can hold on to. I love you Dad. And I miss you.

Winterjams

So this past weekend was pretty rock star awesome. My bestie, Amy's boo, Wes got her and 7 friends tickets to go to Winterjams. This was her Valentines day gift. This was my valentines day gift too. Winterjams is a concert that is all about Jesus. All about worship. When Amy told me about the concert I was super stoked because of the line-up. We saw Newsboys, Tenth Avenue North, and Third Day. There was also a band Firelight. Honestly I liked them but I think I was the only one who did. The weekend basically consisted of tons of laughs. Lots of worship. Goofy chit-chat and deep conversations. I was so blessed to get to know these friends on a deeper level.

5 things I LOVED about the trip:
1. Worshipping with hundreds of Jesus Freaks.
2. Rattlesnake balls (a true culinary delight)
3. having a cotton candy eating contest with Amy
4. Michael Tait and Mac Powell
5. bonding with some of the most awesome ladies. Ever.

5 things I didn't love about the trip:
1. Amy's music collection (Waylon Jennings and Hank Williams)
2. Creepy toes that should never see the light of day (look Kacy, you're on the internet)
3. The consequences of Kacy drinking diet cokes
4. Not buying the Rita Margarita shirt
5. That it ended

I love these girls, I am thankful for these girls. And I am so blessed they are a part of my life. And I can't wait to see wha Wes gets us for Valentines day next year!

Quirks

I have lots of quirks. I do. I was driving in the car yesterday and Michaels Jacksons Thriller came on. I like Thriller. And I like MJ too. But I don't like Vincent Price's creepy dialogue and laugh on the song. So everytime I hear the song, I instantly change the channel once he starts to speak. Quirky? Kind of. Weird? Most def. But thats ok.

So in honor of MJ (rest in Peace) I decided to expose some of my quirks to you. I will preface by saying this might be difficult to read. But I have decided to be wide open honest on this blog and even this may expose me as an even bigger Weirdo and I'm ok with that. So don't judge me.

#1. I HATE BIRDS. There I said it. They are grody and full of tiny miniscule bugs and I am literally scratching my neck just thinking of them. My Aunt Darcie had a bird and when I would be there in the evenings she would walk around the house with that wretched thing on her shoulder. Gross. I would immediately run down the hall into the bathroom just to put 2 closed doors in between me and THAT bird.

#2. Vincent Price's voice. Please reference my introductory paragraph if you have any questions.

#3. The "Pop" a can of biscuits and/or cinnamon rolls freaks. me. out. I make Lilly open them. Seriously. The anticipation is more than I can handle so I give the can to Lilly. She thinks she's helping Mommy "bake". Little does she know that if it weren't for her we would be living a biscuit-less life.

#4. I sing songs in my head when I try to fall asleep. I CONSTANTLY have a song in my head. It might be the ABC's sung to a different tune, or a song by 80's pop group Hall and Oates but its always there. When I wake in the middle of the night to potty its as if the song is just picking up where I left off. Some might call this the early signs of schizophrenia or senile dementia. I prefer to think of it as a non-stop disco in my head. Right at this moment I am thinking of "Your Kiss is on my List" and "Rosanna" simultaneously.

#5. When I watch a muscial I will then practice the choreography for the next 24 hours. Seriously. I know the entire choreography to "One" from a Chorus Line. This is when bitterness towards my mom starts to creep in at the fact that she never sent me to Julliard.

#6. Porcelain Dolls give me the heebie-geebies. I jokingly say they can possess ones soul but deep down a little part of me wouldn't be surpised if that were true. Lilly once was invited to a birthday party at the Enchanted Mansion. Against my better judgement I took her to it. I'm not sure if it was the presidential dolls or the down syndrom doll that did me in but I nearly had a panic attack. I am in NO WAY against down syndrome or anyone with that condition. But honestly there was a down syndrome doll on display. Thats not right, people. I don't care what your views of porcelain dolls are. That's just not right.

#7. I don't eat beans. They are gross. This would be the main reason why I would probably never accept the offer if I was invited to be on Survivior. I just don't think I could eat beans for 39 days. Even for a million dollars.

#8. I become a little "Pageant Mom-ish" when I am trying to take pics of my kids and they are not cooperating. This bugs Kris to no end. He was the one who bestowed the title to me. This is mainly due to the fact that my camera has a slight delay. So I have explained to Kris that if it bothers him so much all he needs to do is get me the Canon rebel I have been drooling over for about 7 months.

#9. I pick my feet up off the pedals/floorboard when I drive over a train track. I don't know why I do.

#10. I am SUPER claustraphobic. When I see someone on tv in a small space I hold my breath. And I loathe the person on an elevator who, even though the elevator is cram packed and my knuckles are smashed against a strangers butt, they try and convince the 3 other people in the lobby that there is room for them. It takes every fiber of my being to not go "ape-crap" on the person and scream at the top of my lungs "ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????? Who are you, the Elevator Hostess???? Quit inviting them in!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Huggles,
ME

10 things

10 things that I love about Lilly:

1. Her imagination is off the charts awesome.

2. Her tender heart.

3. Her leadership abilities.

4. Her desire to learn about anything and EVERYTHING!

5. That she wants to be a paleontologist.

6. Hearing her sing.

7. Hearing her sing praises to Jesus.

8. Hearing her pray.

9. Snuggling with her.

10. How she can love so completely and freely.

3 things that I don't love about Lilly (just be honest hear people):

1. How she has a meltdown over the most insignificant thing (like putting her sock on the wrong way, or not being able to read like a 5th grader)

2. Her sass mouth. She gets it honest from me, and it's something I am trying to work on in myself and hope that overflows into her.

3. well, actually I guess there are only 2 things I don't love.

Lord, Thank you so much for this amazing girl. Help Kris and I to guard our hearts and tongues and teach her Your ways and show her Your love. I pray she grows to be a young girl of God, a young woman of God and a wife and mother of God. Thank you for trusting us to raise her. Amen.

10 things I love about Monkey:

1. That he is MY monkey.

2. The look on his face when I walk into his room after bedtime or naptime.

3. Hims shugars.

4. Watching him play patty cake or peek a boo.

5. Watching him tackle Kris during wrestle time.

6. How he lets me kiss his tootsies and seems to really enjoy it.

7. He is such a good sleeper.

8. He really seems to understand things when I give him directions on things.

9. His appetitie is unbelievable.

10. He loves me without question and it doesn't matter to him if I am wearing make-up or if I live in stretchy pants.

1 thing I don't like about Monkey:

1. Dirty Diapers, thats it.

Lord, Thank you for the blessing of Thomas. God Please help Kris and I to teach him Your ways and to be a Man of God. Let his heart stay tender. Thank you for him and his unconditional love. Amen.

Friends and Coffee

I have a friend. She is a new friend. Her name is Kathy, pronounced Cottie. I first contacted her with a few questions about homeschooling. We talked for a awhile and she gave me lots of info. She and her husband are selling there house and she called me to tell me she had lots of dress-up for my special girl. I said ok (but really I was excited). She called to tell me she was going to deliver me the goods. I said ok (but really I was super excited). Then she called to tell me she was stopping at Starbucks and would I like anything (this is when I became CRAZY EXCITED). She brought over the goods (a ginormous bag of dress-up and a ridonkulously big box of Barbies) for my sweet girl. Kathy's sweet girl, R, had outgrown them and was ready to bless someone else with them. Now granted I may have been doing her a favor too by taking the loot off her hands. But I am so blessed to see the look of pure excitement on my sweet girls face as she is going through her bag and box of treasures. She exclaimed "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE"! And it was a pretty rocking day for me too. Because now I have a new friend and a peppermint white mocha.

complaining about my blessings

Today I spontaneously got down on the floor to play airplane with Lilly. Between you and me I think she is entirely to heavy to do this but she does not agree with me. She wasn't pestering me to do it or anything. In fact the main reason why I did was because I wanted a break from coding and my lower back was hurting. Monkey was watching cartoons and must have seen me out the corner of his eye. He then took my laying on the ground as an open invite to completely tackle me. So there I am, with a 27 pound toddler on my face and a 46 pound 5 year old who has taken the opportunity to tickle me since her brother has me pinned and I start thinking about God. And how he must think I am rock-star awesome to give me these 2 kids. Well technically he gave them to both Kris and I, but Kris was at work and we're talking about me now. Seriously, I must be the bomb dot com to him because THESE KIDS ROCK!

I am beyond blessed and reminded of that daily. Even though some mornings I would rather eat paint chips than make another bowl of oatmeal. I have decided to try (I say try because its gonna take alot of work on my part and I am NOT perfect) to be thankful for my blessings. I know, I know, we are all thankful for the blessings of jobs, new cars, i phones etc. But I'm going deeper. I'm talking about being thankful for dirty dishes. Yep, you read that right. Thankful that I had food to cook my babies and feed them for supper. Thankful that I have a dishwasher that works and I don't have to clean them by hand. I'm talking about being thankful for toilets to clean. Cuz I don't have to walk out in 3 feet of snow to an out-house to do my business. I'm talking about being thankful when I get my $130.00 Entergy bill. Because I have a roof over my head and we are warm. Very warm. And I have a lamp that I can read my kids a story by at night. I am thankful for laundry. Yes it does tend to irritate me when Lilly changes her clothes 93 times after school. But I have a washer and dryer that work for me and my hands are not crippled by arthritis and I am able to fold my fresh clean clothes. So I wanna know....what are YOU thankful for?