ARE YOU AUTHENTIC???

Yesterday a friend and I were talking about blogs we follow. Some are cooking blogs, crafty blogs or cake decorating blogs. A few are about moms just like us who blog about daily life. One in particular where the blogger posts about how bright and happy and perfect their life is but in reality there is darkness and imperfection. So it got me thinking, am I willing to show myself, the pretty and the ugly? Am I willing to tell you secrets that I wish weren't true? The answer: sure, why not? What have I got to lose? I like to think myself a pretty honest person. Sometimes too honest. Brutally honest. I consider myself to be an open book. So here are some of my "secrets". Some are big and some are little, but they are all mine.

Sometimes (quite often, actually) I won't empty the dishwasher, but get the clean dishes out when I need them. Scandalous, I know.

I ran away from home when I was 15 to my friend Chico's house. I spent the night on his top bunk and I scootched all the way towards the wall so his mom wouldn't see me.

When I was 12 I shoplifted maxi-pads because I was too embarassed to tell my mom I had gotten my first period.

I have pretended not to hear the kids in the morning so Kris would wake up first :)

I plagarised a book report in highschool english class. I was comparing and contrasting Bram Stokers Dracula and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and literally copied the synopses word for word from the Cliffs Notes. I got a B.

I think my kids are rockstar awesome. (Ok this ones not really a secret, just looking at my son laying on his tummy looking at a board book, so I had to write this).

This is what my living room looked like yesterday.

I smoked pot in my freshman and sophmore years. Alot. And its pretty over-rated.

I wish I would have been a cheerleader in school.

I get aggravated when people take on the whole world and then complain that they have so much on their plate. News Flash, this just in.........we ALL have alot on our plates.

I am scared of dying. And really hope it happens when I am in my 90's.

I don't read my Bible everyday.

I have forgotten to pay the power bill before and our lights have been cut-off. (oops)

Right now my husband is singing a song about how I need to stop blogging and do more laundry and I might have to cut him.

My friend Cynthia keeps it real with me and is a huge support and encouragement to me. And I appreciate it.

Some days I think I am a good mom, but most days I feel completely inadequate.

I don't vacuum my house everyday.

I don't care about football.

My son is whining at my hip right now and I'm about to go postal.

What are you hiding?

Things that make me gag

Yesterday I was in walmart and saw 2, count em, 2 old ladies sans bras. GAG! While I am all for women empowerment must I be occularly assulted by these women who are either a. too lazy to take the extra 3 seconds to put on a bra or b. really think anyone in the free world would be even remotely interested to see their mammary glands flopping around town. Dear Old ladies, Pah-leez do society a favor and strap em back up!!!

So while I'm on the subject I thought I would make a small list of things that make me gag.

The guy who works the popeyes drive thru who has fingernails that would make barbra Streisand envious. Dude, if you are not a freelance hand model cut those things down!!!!!!!!!

Tyra Banks. Gag. She gets on my nerves times infinity.

False compliments. Theres a chick I know who, honestly we have nothing in common. But everytime we are together she feels the need to incessantly compliment me on my kids. Look, I already know my kids are rock stars. I don't need someone trying to get in my good graces to give me fake compliments.

Weirdos at the healthclub. Old ladies in the hottub with white bras on, the lady who runs, yes runs on the treadmill in flip flops, the guys who look like a giants on the top and 12 year olds on the bottom. Hello???? Have you ever heard of a calf raise????

The end.

Just thought of another one.......Flo from the Progressive commercial. Can she please get a gig on a daytime soap or something so she can quit making commercials and I never have to see/hear her again?